


Rom Mu-yor, Ashayam (Goodnight, My Beloved)

by plaid_knockabout



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nightmares, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pre-Slash, Sharing a Bed, Shore Leave, found this while digging around in my drafts, g-d i hope i got the vulcan translations right, im pretty sure this takes place while they are on shore leave, just a little one shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-11 18:49:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19932823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plaid_knockabout/pseuds/plaid_knockabout
Summary: Maybe it was how upset he was, maybe it was because he was deliriously tired, maybe it was because it was nearing 3am, or maybe it was because Jim thought he’d never get this opportunity again, as even if it did arise, he’d never allow himself to take it again, Jim asked for what he wanted most in the world.“Spock,”“Yes, Jim?”“Spock, will you please stay with me? Just till I fall asleep I mean.”





	Rom Mu-yor, Ashayam (Goodnight, My Beloved)

“N-No! Please no! I-I no! I can’t! Please!”  
  
Jim shot up in bed. Cold sweat slicked his brow and his entire body was trembling. All he could do was stare into the dark, gasping for air. Hot tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and he couldn’t stop them from sliding down his cheeks. He tried to let out a sigh but it came out as a sob. He couldn’t believe he was getting so emotional over one silly dream. This wasn’t the first time either, he’s had terrible nightmares all his life, yet it got him every time.  
  
The old house seemed so empty and silent at this time of night. He sniffled and pressed the heels of his hands to his tired eyes. Lights danced behind his eyelids. When he removed his hands he saw something swaying in the doorway.  
  
“Jim?” It was Spock. “Jim, are you alright? I heard you cry out. What has happened?” His voice fast and concerned. Not regulated and steady like normal. Jim couldn’t see his face in the dark but he could tell that Spock was worried. Spock was worried about him. Jim let out a small humourless chuckle at this, to think he could affect Spock’s emotions in anyway. Though it did make Jim feel better knowing that Spock cared about his well being. Even if it was simply a curdousy and nothing more, it felt nice. Jim tried for one of his smiles, but it didn’t come. He supposed it didn’t matter as it was pitch black anyway. Though it would have made him feel braver; he could always get through something difficult if he plastered a smile on, it made it easier to pretend everything was ok.  
  
“I’m- I’m fine, Spock. It was just a dream. Thanks for uh checking in.” He tried again to sigh, but another sob escaped his lips. Jim could hear Spock draw closer, his tentative footsteps making the hardwood groan.  
  
“Excuse my impertinence Jim, but you do not sound ‘fine’. You are in distress,” Jim felt the end of his bed dip as it took on Spock’s weight, “how can I help?” One sentence rang throughout Jim’s mind: _Just stay with me, please don’t leave._ But he couldn’t say it aloud. Couldn’t burden Spock with his silly human feelings. His silly human desires. Instead he shifted away from the divet in the mattress.  
  
“It’s alright, Spock. Don’t you worry about me. You go back to sleep now.” Spock didn’t budge.  
  
“Jim. Vulcans require less sleep than humans, it is no trouble for me to not sleep. However, it is troubling for me to see you like this. Please tell me what I can do to comfort you. Let me help.” Jim tried to steady his breath. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Spock. He wished Spock hadn’t asked again because Jim’s self control was slipping away through his fingers. If Spock was offering him any small comfort, he couldn’t say no a second time. He would allow himself this small indulgence, just once. “I know you hate touching other people, but I could really use a hug, if you don’t feel comfortable that’s fine, I’ll be f--” Spock’s strong arms were around him before he could finish his sentence.  
  
“I am aware of the human need for physical reassurance and I am not opposed to hugging you.” Jim hated himself for snuggling into the warmth of the vulcan’s embrace.  
  
He couldn’t quite put a pin in it, but he could feel something at the border of his mind that wasn’t his. It was subtle but he felt a great concern and worry, along with what felt like reassurance and a wish for him to be comforted. Somewhere in all the midst of foreign emotion, he grasped a string of deep affection and a strange sense of bittersweet sorrow. But as soon as he felt this sentiment, it retreated. The alien sensation became more subdued and now all that lingered was a general hope for him to be soothed.  
  
“What the--” Jim shifted so he could strain at Spock’s face in the dark. “Is that you?” Spock tensed at this.  
  
“My apologies, my shields have been low as of late. I was attempting to project a sense of comfort, but perhaps other emotions made their way through.” Jim didn’t quite understand everything that Spock just said, but he thought he got the gist.  
  
“It’s ok. I like it.” And he _really_ did. He liked seeing this side of Spock, this soft side, the side with emotions, the side that could, perhaps one day, love h-- no. He settled back down in Spock’s warm arms. Then suddenly a thought came to mind and dread seized his heart. “Does this go both ways? Can- Can you feel my emotions?” Spock can’t know how Jim feels. Spock would surely reject him. Or be uncomfortable and leave even faster than he was going to. Jim couldn’t take losing him in more than one way.  
  
“No, I cannot, my shields are not that weak at this time. All I can sense is that you still have some form of disquiet.” Jim let out a sigh, and this time a sob did not interrupt it.  
  
“You’re not wrong, but it’ll go soon. You’ve already made me feel a lot better. Thank you.” Spock hummed softly in reply. Jim knew the proper thing to do now was let Spock go back to his room and pretend none of this ever happened, it had already gone too far. Jim had indulged himself enough, cuddled guiltily against his friend. This wasn’t right, even if Jim felt like he belonged between those two arms more than he felt he belonged anywhere in the world.  
  
Maybe it was how upset he was, maybe it was because he was deliriously tired, maybe it was because it was nearing 3am, or maybe it was because Jim thought he’d never get this opportunity again, as even if it did arise, he’d never allow himself to take it again, Jim asked for what he wanted most in the world. “Spock,”  
  
“Yes, Jim?”  
  
“Spock, will you please stay with me? Just till I fall asleep I mean.”  
  
Spock released him momentarily so that he could prop himself against the headboard. Jim scooted up closer and laid down, tentatively placing his head on Spock’s chest. Spock pulled the blankets up and around them, shielding them from the outside world. Gentle arms enfolded Jim once again and gave a little squeeze. Jim closed his eyes and tried to imprint everything his body could feel to memory. The way he rose and fell with Spock’s breath. How he could hear Spock’s heartbeat coming from somewhere that wasn’t his chest, his side perhaps. The way Spock’s hand slowly rubbed circles into his back. The soft flannel of Spock’s pajamas, the firmness of the muscle beneath. The tender strength with which he held him, like Jim was delicate, like he was something to be revered, to be cherished; no one had ever held him like this before. The overwhelming warmth enveloping him. The small purr-like rumble the vulcan seemed to be emitting. The way he smelt, like spices, like something that Jim couldn’t name that was uniquely Spock. That lingering sense of comfort and security Spock was sending him. The sheer joy suspended in his chest at just having Spock so near. Just Spock, everything Spock, surrounding him, engulfing him, nothing else but Spock. _Spock Spock Spock._ Jim wished they could stay like this forever. God he had it bad.  
  
Jim fought the wave of exhaustion washing over him. He didn’t want to be pulled into sleep quite yet, he just wanted even a few more minutes of consciousness nestled in Spock’s embrace. He knew he would never allow himself to do this ever again, even if the opportunity arose. He couldn’t keep stealing moments, couldn’t keep lying to himself. In his agitation, Jim stirred as he began to surrender to slumber. He heard the vulcan give a soft hush and whisper what Jim assumed to be reassuring words,  
  
_“Nam'uh hizhuk. Bolau tu shom, k’diwa. Tra' tor ek'manek la'. Dungi ri kal-tor fan-vel klau du, ashal-veh. Tra' nam-tor ek'manek svi' t'nash-veh nartaya. Yuk, t'nash-veh taluhk. Ma wuh weht slor run. Istaya tor worla trasha du. Rom mu-yor, ashayam.”_  
  
The alien words flooded Jim with even more warmth, they flowed through him in the same way tea tumbles down to your stomach leaving a trail of heat. All he felt was warmth, inside and out. He didn’t know what the words meant but he knew they meant that he was safe, that he was cared for. Despite how wrong he knew it was, and despite his guilt, Jim felt the happiest that he could remember being in a long time. He finally allowed himself to drift into sleep, trying his best not to think about what would happen in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! hope you enjoyed!!!
> 
> Vulcan translation: “Be quiet. You need to rest, beloved. You are safe now. I will not allow anything to harm you, my darling. You are safe here in my embrace. Sleep, my precious one. Have a sweeter dream. I wish never to leave you. Goodnight, beloved.”
> 
> (i really hope lingojam translator has my back here)


End file.
